Today, thanks to the double-dealing, treacherous Sir Hubert Tussleberry, he is now Sir Blake the Bored, the youngest knight in mad King Putrid's kingdom of Tortellini.
His mother is about to be roasted by a dragon, the hideous, shape-shifting Garunchis are after him,
Prince Purpleburp commands him to walk the tightrope ... up there! [gulp]
and - worst of all - the bloodthirsty Princess Olivia wants to kiss him.
Slaying a dragon is starting to look easy.