Many of my readers and listeners write to me, and they often want to know how to improve or fix a relationship between a narcissistic personality disordered (NPD) man and a borderline personality disordered (BPD) woman. This dynamic duo tends to get together a lot more than people seem to realize. This duo is one of the most difficult relationships to maintain but can also be one of the most rewarding love connections realized by both sides of the duo. When each partner learns the habits and needs of the other, they can seek to better fulfill each other's needs.

This book hopes to fill the gap for those listeners who are seeking to fine tune their relationships or to improve an abusive or emotionally volatile relationship. We discuss NPD and BPD as they pertain to a heterosexual relationship, but the same rules apply if the roles are reversed and in a homosexual relationship. We hope to give new light to those who are choosing to stay in the relationship but want better ways to interact with their partner to make the relationship work. It is no surprise that this volatile couple needs more tools to deal with the complications of their relationship and to avoid a breakup or an abusive situation.

The narcissist borderline couple tends to form because each person is attracted to the other based on his or her primitive childhood injury. Though both people grew up in different environments, each experienced some level of emotional and developmental trauma that draws them together. The bonding grows love while at the same time sometimes causing a trauma bonding to occur between the couple in the midst of toxic circumstances. Both sides of the couple are emotionally underdeveloped to some degree, and the high conflict in their relationship generally exposes this underdevelopment further.

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